I’ve taken exercise classes which included step before and I’ve enjoyed them. A couple of the moves flummoxed me, but I got there in the end. So, when I saw a step class on offer at my massive gym I thought that looked like a bit of me. It was not a bit of me, not even a little bit. When the 60+ woman in front of me started barking that it was simple, I just needed to face the right way, I should have probably just left. Sadly, I had made the mistake of introducing myself to the teacher at the start, so it wasn’t really an option. His little face looked so hopeful every time I managed to get the routine (“that’s it Stephanie, you’ve got it!”) which meant that when I effed it up again it stung that bit more. I probably won’t take another step class. I did stay on for the class afterwards though, which also involved a bit of step, but happily no kangaroos, backwards steps, around the worlds or any of the other moves that had shamed me. The teacher for this class kept looking at me and checking on me, which I thought was sweet, until he said my name (which I hadn’t told him) and I realised that he must have been told to keep an eye on me by the prevous teacher. I am an actual liability. Oh the shame, the shame. I will press on though, grin plastered across my sweaty face. It seems I thrive on embarrassment.

It’s the 4th July tomorrow, Independence day, yo. In Bryant park they have set up a load of boards that make up the American flag. On these boards are the little bits of text from people saying what the red, white and blue of the flag means to them. I’ve always been impressed/weirded out by how much people here love their country. In England our flag is often used as a symbol of racism and hate and I can’t imagine myself writing anything about being particularly proud to be English. I mean, I sort of am, but I am also ashamed of certain acts we’ve participated in. It just sort of bamboozles me the lack of critical thinking from some people, and the blind love of their great, but massively flawed country.

It seems that at least some of the text on the boards was sent via twitter and it was all posted as sent, no spell checking or, in some cases, basic sense checking. Below I have included some of my very favourites.

I’m proud to live in a country where I can spell badly and use unnecessary capitals!

Erm, I think you’re allowed rings in every counrty.

Are they referring to the exclamation mark as the true dot?! Just say no to full stops for they are unamerican!

Apparently before America existed there was no such thing as free will. God bless the USA. Oh and go Mitt! Woooooo!

This is actually quite sweet. Although I’m pretty sure you can ‘do’ fishing most everywhere with water and fish.

Apparently the servicepeople are fighting for the right of ordinary Americans to write like idiots.

While I was looking at the boards a man came up to me and asked to interview me on what the flag meant to me. Even when he realised I was British he still wanted my opinion. I was too shy and my thoughts about America were too conflicted at the time to agree. However, afterwards I stood behind this beautiful woman who was dancing as she read… And that’s why I love it here. You can dance around like a mental and people act like it’s the most normal thing in the world. God bless America indeed.

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